I think I caused a misunderstanding in my last post! So sorry.

I'm really happy with the direction my life is going now. But I have to revisit the past on occasion and that brings up old pains.

I noticed trauma has trained me to act certain ways too.. so I'm trying to grow past that too.

I am hoping that I have learned to be more careful with who I let in my life now and who receives love from me.

I like my new friends a lot and I like my date soooooo much ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

At the same time.. I wanted to be more real with the one or two people that read this and show that my life is far from glamorous.

I hope that's okay. Really sorry if I made anyone upset. ilu okay? ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Yesterday, walnuttcookie visited me! I feel so lucky to have her as a new friend. I only met her recently at the Lace Museum meet. But she said I'm a good person and she's not just saying it to be nice.. I'll have to add that to my list of evidence that I am not a bad person :pray:

It was the first day of school so we had ice cream with my son. And then we went to the park to play and take pictures!

I sold her Ekaterina by Mary Magdalene in Bordeaux corduroy. I also loaned her my Raphael Doctor Bag. One of my prized possessions as it's made from real leather.

The Bordeaux suits walnut so well :pleadingeyes: I'm glad to be selling it to her!

Really happy I got my first real coordinate picture with Kitkat! He is such a cute dog for a lolita ^^

Thanks walnut for editing these gorgeous photos ^^ It was another wonderful day filled with lolita and fun.

I hope it's not too inappropriate to share some of my deepest feelings here.

Life has been difficult for me.

I lost my friend group.

I lost my marriage of 10+ years and am having to fight for custody.

It felt like I had no one. I was never close with my family either.

It's so scary when it feels like no one loves you.. when you come home and it's just you...

Things are getting better now. I'm making new friends, I have a date I really like.

I'm accumulating a list of things people have said to me that prove I am not a bad person.

At the same time, I'm trying to remember my worth is not determined by others.

Instead of thinking of these things, I'm trying to channel my energy to more positive endeavors like crafting.

I carry a lot of pain with me... I hope one day I can count on a consistent source of feeling seen.

I hide a lot of my pain now to not burden others. I hope someone can accept me for who I am.

I hope it'll be okay.